So this week I basically gave up on my dreams of going to P’yongyang (or Pyeongyang for you new romanization system purists).  I had been bizzarrely pining over the notion of visiting the capitol and being one of roughly 1,000 Americans to cross over and head deep behind the borders.  The seed was planted back in February when I took a 3 day soujourn into the Geumgangsan (Hyundai-Asan) district over Solnal weekend.

Yeah I know you probably don’t understand, no one else did either. The country is basically defunct, its economy is at a virtual standstill.  It is responsible for countless acts of inhumanity on its own citizens and continues to pursue a nuclear arms proliferation program.  It is one of the most vehemently anti-American countries on the planet.  I mean, what an unwelcoming shithole, right? (see below)

Rush hour in Pyongyang

The point is, I wanted to go.  I really really wanted to go.

The story:

The trip was insanely expensive and required travelling through China and therefore getting a dual entry visa which, if you weren’t aware, has gotten shittily expensive.  As an American I would only be able to go in a brief two month window of selected tours through Koryo Tours.  They claimed reduced costs for groups fares.  “Why would I want to go there when I could see so much more with the same money?”  This was the most common response from people I thought might want to accompany me.  Not a single soul was to be found willing to go.  I accepted the fact that I’d be doing this alone if I seriously wanted to.  I finally got my lazy self motivated and began to tentatively plan it out.

My mental re-enactment: “Hey look at this.  There’s a September 9th-13th trip that falls near Chusok.  It’s perfect.  I can have more time in China to justify that extra visa expense and I can satisfy my lust for the unknown (and largely undesirable to most people).”

What happened next:

So, plan in hand and a full 3 months in advance, I politely requested the time off for September.  This of course was not done directly to my boss.  What ignorant foreign mooncalf would attempt such a thing?  No, I discretely mentioned it to the right subordinates and within a paltry 6 days found out that my request had been denied!  Why, you ask?  Because I was defaming the school in my spare time and drinking on the job?  Because I was teaching German 60% of the time in my classes?  NO! NOT EVEN! Because I had requested 5 days off in a row!  Yeah, what a damn travesty.  Apparently 3 is the maximum!  Not sure if I could take 3 days off 3 weeks in a row in the same month…

So needless to say I was pretty pissed off.  Bear in mind this falls 9 vacation-free months into my contract.  I feel like I’ve done more for this school than I needed to.  Back in April I was forced to work when my parents came because my school hadn’t hired a replacement teacher (they don’t like dark-skinned folks).  We were short-handed for 10 weeks but this did not accrue any sense of preferencial treatment in the eyes of my employer.

And yes I know it’s against the labor guidelines to deny requested vacation time.  I was about to launch a shit storm as well.  But then I pussied out.  So what if it’s the 60th anniversary of the founding of the DPRK workers party?  Those things happen all the time, right?  I’ll be around Korea next year with 4k in the bank to blow on such a trip, right?  Sure why the hell not.  In the end I decided it’s just not worth being antagonized and given “subtle” shit for the next 6 months when I am completely entitled in the first place.

The Denouement:

Sullenly pissed off at my school and ashamed of the poor structural integrity of my spine, I just settled and have begun to care even less about my job performance  (lately they have insisted that we greet and bid farewell with a “warm heart” because “we are a family”…BULLSHIT).  Anyways, I took a small chunk of my well-deserved earnings and I got a great deal on a DSLR D50 when the offer came along.  So far this has helped me to feel better.  Ah, material possessions, you always say the right things.

my high-tech security blanket

Feelings felt today:

remorse, anger, frustration, anti-warmheartedness, and uncertainty

Words learned today:

mooncalf- ass, idiot, imbecile, jackass